Merry Christmas and Happy Knute Year!

Deck the halls with tons of nonsense...

Feliz HanuNaviSolstiKwanzMas sports fans!

The following is Knute's Christmas gift to all of you, take it or leave it.

Circling 'Round the Bowl

So the Coogs and the Great Basin Indigenous Peoples Tribe made it to Bowl games? A hearty congratulations to them for the opportunity to pay money to go and get beat on National TV. For a few minutes I thought my perception of the Mountain West Conference as a group of mediocre-and-quickly-falling-off-the-national-football-map-wannabes was erroneous and that that it actually is a respected and well thought of league because of the large number of Bowl invites they received (4). Then I bothered to look at the Bowls.

Keep in mind the Bowl system in place now has become more swollen and engorged than a BYU co-ed's butt a year after marriage, thus there seems to be a Bowl for nearly everyone. Hence invites for Utah, CSU, BYU and TCU. Of that 4, TCU is the only one who should be wearing loud shoes and an ugly shirt (i.e. "going bowling").

In fact BYU is the only team playing in a real, been-around-longer-than-ten-years Bowl (Las Vegas Bowl). The others are playing in made up Bowls. Utah is taking on Georgia Tech in the venerated and legendary "Emerald Bowl", while TCU tussles with Iowa State in the ever popular, EV1.Net Houston Bowl and CSU faces perennial powerhouse Navy in the San Diego County Credit Union and Other Financial Partners and Affiliates All Rights Reserved On Approved Credit Member FDIC Poinsettia Bowl.

Seriously?

I guess now anyone with deep pockets can have a Bowl game. And the games start earlier and earlier each year. Maybe they should make the "Holy War" between BYU and Utah a Bowl game? Then the Utes and Coogs can say they play in a Bowl game every year. It could be the LDS Church Steven R. Covey Huntsman Chemicals Holy War Bowl! To make it seem like a Bowl with fans having to travel to see the teams they could hold it in Romney Stadium in Logan so everyone wins! The U and Y get their Bowl game and everyone knows Romney only sells out when the U and the Y are in town.

Anywho, I'm lookin' at the Bowl schedule and that light the MWC sees at the end of the tunnel is a train. Says here that Cal rolls over BYU despite the Coogs having home field advantage 42-20. Meanwhile, in the Bay Area, Georgia Tech will work the Utes 21-16, Iowa State will upend TCU 43-40 because TCU coach Gary Patterson and the devil, with whom he has a deal, are on the outs because, as Beelzebub recently told the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, "Dude is psycho!"

I think the only team that wins from the MWC is CSU and only because they are playing a Navy team that got into a Bowl because the White House called the Bowl honchos and told them, "If Army or Navy doesn't get into a Bowl game, you're letting the terrorists win". CSU 24, Navy 17.

The WAC? I'm not so sure about the WAC. I think they were a better overall conference this year than the MWC and have been for about 3 years with the exception of Utah's once-in-a-century team last year. Boise hosts BC in the Simplot Albertson's Napoleon Dynamite All Things Idaho MPC Computers Bowl and I do mean "host" as the game is being played on the Smurf Turf. BC has to feel like the kid who opens all his presents on Christmas only to find out all he got was new socks, shirts and underwear. Question is, do they come out and play mad and try to make a statement or do they come out flat and uninspired for having to travel three quarters of the way across the country right after Johnny Damon signed with the Yankees. Hard to say but I think BC comes out and out-physicals BSU for a 28-20 win. With Dan Hawkins on his way to The Boulder School for Athletic Law Breakers I think it just takes the wind out of BSU's sails.

Meanwhile, Fresneck heads to the Liberty Bowl to meet Tulsa. I have no reading on this game whatsoever but I think Pat Hill is outstanding and I like how Fresno plays (except when they are losing to Nevada). Thus, I'm going with the 'Dawgs 31-28 in my wild-stab-in-the-dark-pick-of-the-week. Nevada and UCF in the Hawai'I Bowl is another tough call but I'm going with Nevada. They travel to the Aloha State every other year and won't be charmed by the magic of being in the islands while the UCF boys will think they are still in F-L-A but the lack of old, ornery people and southern drawls will confuse and upset them. Nevada 32, UCF 23.

A Letter From Roger

In the wake of the scandal created by J. Whyatt Mondesire, President (for now) of the Philadelphia chapter of the NAACP and his letter in a Philly paper bashing Donovan McNabb, I am in possession of another letter of the same ilk that threatens to throw BYU sports into turmoil.

***** Dear John,

Did that opening phrase bring back memories of a letter from your girl while on your mission? Did it make you cry? It was intended to.

You see John, a couple of years back you got on the radio and cried after a game. Imbeciles who follow other Godless Universities mocked you and the radio host high school dropouts that could have benefited from 4 years of seminary also took your name in vain. But there are some who feel you joined a proud fraternity that night and we hate to see move away from the proud tradition of whiner and crybabies at BYU.

You see John, you should be in the world and not of it, but your refusal to continue crying when given an opportunity stands as a testament that you are slowly stepping "into the world". A real BYU athletic leader would cry and whine for the world to see (unless you wore the number 9 and were he who's name we dare not speak) and would not succumb to the mocking of the world.

You, John are becoming more Gentile than a true representative of Heavenly U. If you continue along this path then I shudder to think what awaits you. Cry John-Boy! CRY!! Continue the proud tradition of this institution and cry like you have been wronged beyond compense!

Do so before it destroys you. You are letting down millions of Mormons…or at least 100,000 BYU fans.

Sincerely,

R. Reid

D Ainge

Co-Chairs for Alumni Upholding The "Whine" in BWhineU

This letter was also signed by 68,000 fans and alumni.

****** Accusing the LDS BYU QB of being a Gentile! I can't think of anything more shocking! I'm at a loss…we just need to move on.

12 Days of Christmas - Knute Style

Finally, a Christmas carol to all you fans of sports here in Utah. I started this Monday then noticed Gregg Easterbrook did the same thing in his NFL.com Tuesday Morning QB column this week. I forged ahead anyway:

On the first day of Christmas the Utah sports scene gave to me, lots of things that are funny.

On the second day of Christmas, the Utah sports scene gave to me, 2 teams losing bowl games, and lots of things that are funny.

On the third day of Christmas the Utah sports scene gave to me, 3 decent hoops teams, 2 teams losing bowl games, and lots of things that are funny.

On the fourth day of Christmas the Utah sports scene gave to me, 4 injured Jazz starters, 3 decent hoops teams, 2 teams losing bowl games, and lots of things that are funny.

On the fifth day of Christmas the Utah sports scene gave to me, 5 D1 caliber recruits for USU, 4 injured Jazz starters, 3 decent hoops teams, 2 teams losing bowl games, and lots of things that are funny.

On the sixth day of Christmas the Utah sports scene gave to me, 6 wins Aggie football, 5 D1 caliber recruits for USU, 4 injured Jazz starters, 3 decent hoops teams, 2 teams losing bowl games, and lots of things that are funny.

On the seventh day of Christmas the Utah sports scene gave to me, 7 Mendenhall's Scheming, 6 wins for the Aggies, 5 D1 caliber recruits for USU, 4 injured Jazz starters, 3 decent hoops teams, 2 teams losing bowl games, and lots of things that are funny.

On the eighth day of Christmas the Utah sports scene gave to me, 8 hoopsters leaving Utah, 7 Mendenhall's Scheming, 6 wins for the Aggies, 5 D1 caliber recruits for USU, 4 injured Jazz starters, 3 decent hoops teams, 2 teams losing bowl games, and lots of things that are funny.

On the ninth day of Christmas the Utah sports scene gave to me, 9 local sports radio hosts, 8 hoopsters leaving Utah, 7 Mendenhall's Scheming, 6 wins for the Aggies, 5 D1 caliber recruits for USU, 4 injured Jazz starters, 3 decent hoops teams, 2 teams losing bowl games, and lots of things that are funny.

On the tenth day of Christmas the Utah sports scene gave to me, 10 Sloans-a-cursing, 9 local sports radio hosts, 8 hoopsters leaving Utah, 7 Mendenhall's Scheming, 6 wins for the Aggies, 5 D1 caliber recruits for USU, 4 injured Jazz starters, 3 decent hoops teams, 2 teams losing bowl games, and lots of things that are funny.

On the eleventh day of Christmas the Utah sports scene gave to me, 11 clueless radio show callers, 10 Sloans-a-cursing, 9 local sports radio hosts, 8 hoopsters leaving Utah, 7 Mendenhall's Scheming, 6 wins for the Aggies, 5 D1 caliber recruits for USU, 4 injured Jazz starters, 3 decent hoops teams, 2 teams losing bowl games, and lots of things that are funny.

On the twelfth day of Christmas the Utah sports scene gave to me, 12 more months of great sports, 11 clueless radio show callers, 10 Sloans-a-cursing, 9 local sports radio hosts, 8 hoopsters leaving Utah, 7 Mendenhall's Scheming, 6 wins for the Aggies, 5 D1 caliber recruits for USU, 4 injured Jazz starters, 3 decent hoops teams, 2 teams losing bowl games, and lots of things that are funny.

Merry Everything sports fans!