Lip of Toad, Eye of Knute

TOCB goes to 4-0 with a slow, but big week ahead.

So I hit the Utah/USU spread right on the head (24 points) even though I got the final score wrong. I was a bit off on the BYU score (45-10 rather than the 41-13 I predicted) but every teenager hopes to get that close to the real score on prom night so I’ll take it.

Now that my arm hurts from the back patting let’s break things down a bit with this week’s Knute Awards.

The “Hey, This is Actually Compelling” Award: Goes to Utah State at Utah. The Aggies played well for 27 minutes in the first half, had a 7-0 lead and really looked like…well…not the Aggies. Then then someone looked down at their jersey and said aloud on the sidelines “Hey! We’re the Aggies!” BAM! Kevin Robinson muffs a punt, the play-calling goes all wonky and the Utes tack on 2 scores in 3 minutes to take a 14-7 lead into the half. What would have happened had USU lead at the half 7-0? What if it’s 7-7 late in the third and USU doesn’t get a facemask penalty on a third down stop? I liked what I saw from the Ags. I expected the outcome as it unfolded, but I thought the Ags looked more disciplined, more focused and most importantly, more aggressive than in quite some time.

The “M&M Theory” Award: This goes to USU head man Brent “Whatta” Guy. What is the M&M Theory? It’s the theory applied to sex in marriage. If you put an M&M in a jar everytime you get a little your first year of marriage, then take one out every time your score AFTER the first year, you will NEVER drain the jar! BG and Aggie Nation are on their honeymoon right now, as evidenced by all the positive feelings bandied about on the message boards and elsewhere after a 24 point LOSS! I have no problem with this. All I’m saying is, hoard those M&M’s Brent and hope the team is where you want them to be by year 3.

The “What Game Are You Watching Award of Broadcast Numbskullery”: To Steve Brown who late in the 4th quarter of the USU/Utah game analyzed (remember anal and Ysis: “to pull from”) Leon Jackson’s numbers by concentrating on his rushing yards and saying something to the effect of that’s bad news when your QB has that many rushing yards. WHAT?! What game was he watching? You see Steve, the Aggies offense is much like the Utah offense and asks for the QB to run the ball some. LJ3 had 80+ yards and considering USU averaged something like 6 yards per game rushing last year, I would say that was a pretty decent stat line. That was almost as bad as Mike (I have naked photos of someone at KJZZ) Norseth going gigantic Ute Homer before the game saying “I’m scared of the beating I’m about to take” was what was going through LJ3’s mind prior to kickoff. I hope next time I watch a game that these two are commentating, I get the choice of watching it or a beating, because you can be damn sure I’ll take the beating.

The “Jesus Said Love Everyone, Treat Them Kindly Too” Award: This to the BYU Cougars who treated Eastern Illinois kindly by keeping the starters in late in the game and piling it on. Zoobie fans (both of them) defend this by saying they took them out early enough and that they (the starters) needed the work to get their confidence up. My reply: You’re idiots. But now that the Zoo is in contention for the BCS apparently, they need to make sure to run up the score to impress the voters. This is made even more ironic and hypocritical when you consider Bishop Bronco’s comments about Urban Meyer’s penchant for calling BYU “the team down south” when he was Utah’s coach. Quoth Madmanhall: “The approach that we've taken is to give the teams respect, call them by what the name is. Our players, I think in general, kind of think it's silly and think they're above taking those kind of tactics."

But not above running up the score. Makes sense to me.

The “I Couldn’t Be More Surprised if I Woke Up With My Head Stapled to the Carpet” Award: This goes to Notre Dame and Texas. I find myself pulling for Notre Dame which is odd considering I’ve always despised them. I also find myself wondering if Ohio State headman is mildly retarded. Why on earth do you let Justin Zwick anywhere near a football unless it is to add air to them? Tressel this week announced that Troy Smith is his new starter and Zwick will be relegated to team urinal. I am of the opinion Vince Young is the most over-hyped player in the NCAA, but then he breaks out just enough of a clutch performance to make me doubt myself. And for that I hate him. I thought for sure OSU would beat Texas but now, my definition of over-hyped has a picture of a Buckeye next to it.

TOCB

One game this week for The Ol’ Crystal Ball and it’s a tough call. TOCB has built up a 4-0 record this year with a schedule only slightly easier than Utah’s but this week’s only game is a mystery.

Utah has been less than impressive in 2 wins but they’ve gotten the job done. And when it is all said and done, only the “W” counts, not how they got it. TCU, on the other hand, beat Oklahoma in week one and lost to SMU last week. Oklahoma looks like they may be in a down year, but should that take away from the Horny Toads’ win in Norman?

I’m going out on the limb on this one and calling for a streak breaker. TCU has a lot to prove in their house on national TV. Utah goes on the road for the first time and can’t afford a slow start, but that has been their M.O. so far this season.

I’m calling for the TCU upset – TCU 26, Utah 24.

That’s all for this week Sports Fans! Enjoy another full weekend of the greatest game ever made!

As always you can email Knute with comments and suggestions at [e-mail].